Looking at this title, one could be led to believe that I have finally lost my marbles, and am presently blogging from a padded room – or, at the very least, a remedial English class. Yet this is not the case!
Inky the octopus recently made headlines for escaping from the National Aquarium of New Zealand by squeezing himself down a pipe which led to the ocean. You can read more about it on the aquarium's website, or via other sources such as The Guardian. It's an enchanting story.
Nevertheless, for all the well-written news reports out there, one angle appears to have been overlooked: that of underwater journalism. What might the octopus community be thinking of this?
The Bay of Plenty Tides
13 April 2016
Long missing 8-legs ink-make returns to sea Deepings
A famous 8-legs ink-make has slither-swum returned to the Great Blue after beaching on a treacherous island and being netted there in a has-reef water box.
Inktacle, add-bubble gilled as “Inky” to his familink, was but a fresh youth octosquiddle when netted. After he was de-oceaned, his familink all but burp-bubbled hope of crawling with him again.
“Our clam-pearl of an octosquiddle has been away-tided from us,” gilled Inctacle’s familink after the netting. “We have lost our inkling, and are currentless as to how to strong-tide him back.”
This particular netting left deep-bite sharkmarks on the 8-legs ink-make coralmunity. Although 8-legs ink-makes typically squelch out thousands of octosquiddles at a time, in the gill-burps of the coralmunity’s main-legs Tentaclelder, “Every octosquiddle is different.” And Inktacle, jump-ship gilled to be a “tomorrow-sea tide-rider” owing to his big-bubble curiosity, was indeed treasure-chested by all who shared water with him.
Inktacle, however, was not calamaried and swallowed by land-sharks after his netting – he was actububble warm-tided by the land-sharks, and taken to a mini-sea in Napier, New Sealand. Napier’s mini-sea is actububble the main-legs mini-sea of the island; the land-sharks call it the ‘National Aquarium’.
In the few tides since Inktacle washed himsquelf out of the mini-sea by small-squeezing himsquelf down a ‘drainpipe’, the National Aquarium has been much gilled all under the world in ink-presses such as The New York Tides, Sea-NN, and The Daily Snail. Inktacle, however, has not slithered forward for an interview, preferring to remain anonymussel.
“The gill-burps on the grapebrine are that Inky is preferring to lie low, and to spend some tides with his familink,” confides a crusted source. “But while he is ecstatink to have strong-tided back to his coralmunity, he also heart-bubbles his mini-sea in Napier. He endless tide bubble-babbles about how soft-current and gentle-rocking they were towards him.”
Inktacle’s family agrees. “They were definitely not suckers,” they gilled.
Yet one question keeps swimming: what is next tide for Inktacle?
Close friend Octavia Squeeze-Bubble, of the high-tide Ship-Limpet tentaclan, feels shore to know the answer. “He’s big-bubble adventurous, right dive-down to his tentatips, and will probabubble wash up as a see-sea,” she gushed.
Inktacle’s familink, meanwhile, quiet-gilled that he might slither-squeeze back to his old-tide mini-sea in Napier, for a swim-through and a gill-gill with his land-shark friends.
Either wave, if there’s one bubble we can blow, it’s that Inktacle will be evertide surprisink us.
 Like in Nemo legend: made of bad-taste hard-rock, ‘drainpipe’ is water link to land-shark islands. It is shaped like anemone tentacle, and often finned by sea-edge.